Robbin' bastards

I was scanning through my credit card today (checking up on the missus and what she’d been frittering) and amongst the lipsticks, bras and shampoos (how much could I have saved if I’d have swallowed my pride and chosen one of the many flat chested bald women that have been attracted to me during my life) when I came across a payment that I didn’t recognise. £20 going to somebody called ‘Redsave’. Anyway, as I dug deeper I realised that I’d been paying them £20 on the same day for the past 6 months. As I didn’t remember signing up to one of Putin’s social programs, I rang the number. Now the girl was very pleasant and as I explained my query she listened and grunted in all the right places and waited for me to finish asking what I had bought.
‘Well Mr Tilley, you haven’t actually bought anything, other than that indoor remote control helicopter back in December.’
‘Oh, so it’s a mistake then?’
‘Oh no, no mistake. The twenty quid is you membership fee.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Yes, when you buy something from us, we sign you up as a member and unless you cancel it then we take the fee every month.’
‘Oh really, but as I haven’t bought anything and it’s obviously been an oversight, you can give me at least some of it back then?’
‘’Fraid not. That would be illegal because it’s part of ….’
I stopped listening. I hate it when people say that something is illegal, especially when it isn’t but I’ve also had enough of these conversations to understand that the helicopter was going to cost £140. Bottom line, and giving Redsave the benefit of the doubt on this one, there are traps out there that innocent online shoppers can fall into. The missus will just have to stop washing her hair for a bit ‘til we get back on our feet.