Saturday, June 28, 2008

Back to laughing at polar bears...

Sorry Al, but this global warming scare is beginning to look a bit suspicious. It’s not that I don’t understand the principal. In fact, I can remember a time when watching news clips of polar bears falling off ice sheets not only made me laugh but think too about maybe turning a couple of lights off. Not anymore. Trouble is, the whole thing is beginning to feel a bit too much of a con now, especially in the UK. It wasn’t too bad when all I was asked to do was take a tiny piece of the collective responsibility but it didn’t take long for the tax man to dive in and insist that I should have to pay to be green. Stinging me every time I get in the car or go on holiday isn’t going to save the planet. What it does do though is make me less inclined to borrow my neighbour’s horse, nip down the shops and buy a cloth sack full of low energy light bulbs. Any good will that may have been has long since evaporated and I’m at the point now where I’m happy to rip down my list of ‘things I should do to reduce my carbon footprint’ and turn the fridge back on. I’ll file it away I think, for future reference under ‘You had me there for a minute’ along with Y2K, WMD and denim flares.

Recycling Jimmy

Friday, June 13, 2008

Just a bit of common sense please

I travel quite a bit and so I was made up to get an Ipod touch for my birthday. Cool piece of kit too, and watching a couple of your favourite shows really helps you wade through the crap that comes with airports in a post 9/11 world. What I didn’t realise though is that an Ipod is a safety risk on a plane. Well, I assume it must be given the fact that I can’t watch it during take off and landing. Anyone know why? The phone thing is bad enough. A phone can’t make a plane crash. If it could, then they simply wouldn’t be allowed in the cabin and we’d have to stash them in the hold with the tubes of exploding toothpaste and cans of anthrax riddle deodorant wouldn’t we? But Ipods? These are even more inert than phones. They don’t do anything other than show pictures. So I asked.

‘In an emergency sir, you need to be aware of what is going on’ the air hostess said dismissively as she scanned aisle checking seat belts.

Er, excuse me love, but I think I’d notice if one of the engines blew up. What does she think will happen when the bloated business man in the window seat starts screaming and clambering over me to get to the emergency exit.

‘Okay mate, give me a minute. I just want to see the end of this.’

Don’t think so.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Quitters to the rescue!

Seems to me that there are an awful lot of pissed off wives around these days. For instance, that woman who tried to kill her husband recently. By the way, I’m not talking about the one that bunged her boyfriend three grand to find a hit man (and when he ran off to get some more tattoos, she went to ask her dad), no I’m talking about a much classier act.
I’m talking about Angela Nellany, who stands accused of trying to kill her husband by leaving a soda can filled with wasps in his car?? The picture you see here is obviously her trying to eat the evidence. But the charges are now disputed as being made up and to be honest, I can see the logic. If she really wanted him dead, it would have been so much easier to give hubby a gun and then get her kit off. I'm sure he'd have used it or been straight on the phone to the Quitters.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Foreward thinking

I know it’s not the usual stuff I post about but I just had to let you know about this because believe me, it’s some achievement. "ForeWord has named Kunati Books the first Independent Publisher of the Year. The new honor was created to celebrate ForeWord's tenth anniversary and to recognize Kunati's innovation and fearlessness.Kunati, a year-old publisher, produces book trailers for every new release, maintains a blog, and encourages its authors to blog and actively participate in marketing their books. The publisher currently has several movie deals in the works, and its roster of authors includes Pulitzer Prize winner John E. Mack."

Cool or what, and if you haven’t seen the trailer to Recycling Jimmy, it’s a good laugh….except for the headshot of me drifting though where I look like an anaemic Dale Winton.