Quitters to the rescue!

Seems to me that there are an awful lot of pissed off wives around these days. For instance, that woman who tried to kill her husband recently. By the way, I’m not talking about the one that bunged her boyfriend three grand to find a hit man (and when he ran off to get some more tattoos, she went to ask her dad), no I’m talking about a much classier act.
I’m talking about Angela Nellany, who stands accused of trying to kill her husband by leaving a soda can filled with wasps in his car?? The picture you see here is obviously her trying to eat the evidence. But the charges are now disputed as being made up and to be honest, I can see the logic. If she really wanted him dead, it would have been so much easier to give hubby a gun and then get her kit off. I'm sure he'd have used it or been straight on the phone to the Quitters.

Foreward thinking

I know it’s not the usual stuff I post about but I just had to let you know about this because believe me, it’s some achievement. "ForeWord has named Kunati Books the first Independent Publisher of the Year. The new honor was created to celebrate ForeWord's tenth anniversary and to recognize Kunati's innovation and fearlessness.Kunati, a year-old publisher, produces book trailers for every new release, maintains a blog, and encourages its authors to blog and actively participate in marketing their books. The publisher currently has several movie deals in the works, and its roster of authors includes Pulitzer Prize winner John E. Mack."

Cool or what, and if you haven’t seen the trailer to Recycling Jimmy, it’s a good laugh….except for the headshot of me drifting though where I look like an anaemic Dale Winton.

Faceless fags

I smoke. Tried to give up but when I found myself rooting through the bin for a half finished pack I’d crumpled there 3 days before, I realised that it wasn’t happening. Not yet at least, although I’ll maybe have another go in a couple of years time. What I won’t do though is stop buying cigarettes because the manufacturers are forced to remove all the branding from them. How is this supposed to work anyway? Mind you, it will make the whole transaction a little weird.

‘Can I help you sir?’
Yes please, I‘d like to buy some cigarettes.’
‘Certainly sir, any particular kind?’
‘Erm, have you got any of those smoking is bad for your health one’s?’
‘’Fraid not sir, just sold the last packet to that very short man with the false beard and sunglasses. Have you tried the smoking whilst pregnant will damage your baby one’s sir? Very popular with the ladies.’
‘Not sure there’ll be to my taste, bit on the strong side. Just give us twenty smoking not only harms you but others around you. They sound a bit more sociable don’t you think?’

On a semi serious note, I’m a strong believer that your health and your mind are firmly linked. If there is even the slightest truth in this then surely plastering cigarette boxes with explicit descriptions of the illnesses you may contract is not very fair and I’d go as far as to say bordering on negligent.

On a very serious note, next time you’re in the shop kids, don’t buy fags, buy a book instead.

Honesty: a step too far for the church

I’m all for looking after the little man and the UK’s latest attempt at regulation will go some way toward this. Apparently, there’s going to be stricter guidelines and penalties to try and stop all that rip off sales pitch that we all fall for from time to time. You know the kind of stuff; closing down sales, tradesmen with qualifications bought off the internet, basic misrepresentation by twisting facts and making us believe that we’re getting a good deal. Trouble is, once again the powers that be have taken it one step too far because in this group they have lumped the fortune tellers and psychics. I’m not disputing that there may be charlatans out there (as there are in any business, let’s face it) but to begin a tarot reading with the words ‘there is no scientific basis for what I am about to do and this reading is for entertainment purposes only’ is simply wrong. Not only for the people who provide the service but for those who truly believe and often take comfort from being told that everything’s going to be fine and Uncle Joe is thinking about you from the other side. Miserable sods if you ask me. Why do they think they have the right to screw around with someone’s belief system just because they don’t buy it? Can’t wait to hear the Bishop of Durham’s next sermon;

‘Now before I pass the collection tray round I have to tell you that God is made up and what I’ve just said about that bloke coming back from the dead is probably total bollox too, although there was a beardy guy called Jesus and he was very nice apparently, so that’s good isn’t it. I’d like to add, that even if you do put money in the tray then the chances are that you won’t actually go to heaven. Not because you’re bad mind, but because there’s no such place. We made that up too. Can I have some money anyway? Amen’

Recycling Jimmy

And I thought girls were good at this stuff....

Thought I’d share this comment with you from a one of Kunati’s soon to be released (and very excellent) authors, Beth:

'Yeah, I see your point, but besides your observations about pervs & all...? That lightswitch is just plain GAWD-AWFUL GAWDY, don'tcha think??!'

Well Beth sure, on its own the light switch looks naff, but you're not thinking of the bigger picture! You’ve got to imagine it installed as part of the range, coordinated through your house. You know, the Turin Shroud shower curtain, the crucifix washing line pole and the fishing net bed spread.....I bet your house looks a bloody mess!

Sing for Jesus..

Wasn’t going to bother writing a blog today. To be honest, nothing in the news was leaping out at me and then a pal sent me this pic. I’m not usually amused by stuff like this, bit too slapstick for my taste, but what it did do was make me wonder about the bloke who designed it. Now it looks like it’s an old design (let’s say mid 1900’s for sake of argument). The designer obviously put a lot of work into this and was trying to say something about his Christ (bringing light to the world, protecting children from the dark side etc etc) and to be honest, he did a reasonable job. Trouble is, things change. Today, in an age where the popular press is regularly filled with peado priest stories, the message is lost, invisible to a society that is so desensitised to perversion and sicko’s who pray on kids that this becomes our standard model for interpreting images like this. Just an observation.

Joke

Now I am not a political animal and indeed, if you’ve read Recycling Jimmy you could almost say that I’m politically incorrect (is that the opposite?) but that home secretary woman, Jacqui Smith, is enough to make the most apathetic of us get up and vote. Apart from the fact that she looks like that dancing lesbian, Ellen Degenerate, she talks crap. Today she stood up in front of the police federation and with complete contempt, told its members that the UK couldn’t afford a poxy 30 million quid to honour the pay deal that was, as far as I understand, a done deal. The joke is that on a day when Man Utd and Chelsea will field over 200 million pounds worth of ‘talent’, we tell the men and women who have vowed to protect us that they aren’t worth it. Shame on you Smith, although there was at least one moment of joy when during the q and a session she allowed herself to get backed in to a corner and actually said ‘yes’ when asked if she would change her decision subject to the outcome of a judicial review. I’m always banging on about politicians not giving direct answers but I never thought I’d hear one. It’s funny you know, now that I have, I can understand why good politicians never do it; yes’s and no’s sound rushed and ill considered from people who are meant to be clever enough to govern us. It’s up to you now judge, you could save me a walk to the polling station.